What psychological techniques help make labor easier?
Discover how psychology and neuro-linguistic programming can transform your birthing experience! These simple yet powerful techniques are perfect for anyone looking to make their birth journey smoother and more positive, even aiming to give birth without pain. Check out my top 5 picks! And stay with us until the end for bonus tips on using psychology to improve communication with OBs and labor nurses.
1. Anchoring
Anchoring is a technique from neuro-linguistic programming where you associate a specific touch, gesture, or smell with a feeling of calm and control. It’s like a mental shortcut—just as the smell of cookies might instantly transport you back to Grandma’s house, bringing with it all the warm, fuzzy feelings associated with her love. Smell is an incredible anchor for emotional responses. During pregnancy, you can associate an aroma you love with feelings of calm and relaxation, so when you inhale that scent during labor, it instantly triggers those calming feelings.
Touch and gestures can also be powerful anchors. During my pregnancy, my husband and I created a touch anchor. He would place his hand on my shoulder, and I would practice relaxing deeply. We did this dozens of times!
Repetition is crucial—it’s what creates the neurological link between feeling relaxed and the anchor, whether it’s a smell or a touch.
During my labor, I was resting in the tub, already pretty relaxed. But when my husband put his hand on my shoulder and whispered our anchoring words, I melted into even deeper relaxation. It felt amazing. To labor easier, relaxation anchoring is a highly effective way to use your brain’s neural-circuitry to your advantage.
As a side note, sometimes we can accidentally develop negative anchor associations due to certain experiences. One of my Better Birth students had many negative experiences at the hospital as a teenager, so just breathing in that antiseptic hospital smell triggered feelings of powerlessness and stress. During her pregnancy, she worked hard to create new neurological connections to override that original anchor. Creating a new calming scent anchor and bringing it to the hospital was an important step in that process. If you’re also someone who dislikes the hospital smell, this could be a helpful strategy for you too.
2. Relaxation Between Contractions
In an average 10-hour labor, you’ll spend about seven hours resting between contractions, with only around three hours actually in contraction. That means 70% of labor is the space between contractions. So, how do we make the most of this time and work towards giving birth without pain? Deep relaxation.
Here’s a common mistake: many women spend the minutes between contractions worrying and stressing about the next one. Shannon shared her experience during her first labor.
When that happens, psychologically, you never get a break, making labor much harder. By deeply relaxing your mind, you allow your body to rest and truly recover your energy, helping to ensure you have the strength for the entire journey.
Plus, practicing relaxation keeps your brain out of the fight-or-flight stress response, which helps keep your muscles looser and important pain-reducing hormones like endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin at high levels.
3. Reframing
Reframing is about changing the way you perceive a situation. In life, things happen to us, and then there are the stories we tell ourselves about what happened.
Here’s a little life secret: It’s the story you tell yourself that matters most! The story you create determines the impact of the experience.
Take the story our culture tells women about contractions– they’re terrible, the worst pain ever, pure suffering. No wonder many of us have a negative association with the word “contraction,” automatically equating it with pain. But you can change that story. Instead of seeing contractions as painful, you can choose to view them as powerful surges bringing you closer to meeting your baby. This shift in perspective can make labor easier and more positive.
There are other equally accurate ways to describe the work of the uterus: Surge, Wave, or Rush are all good options.
Surge describes how the uterus literally surges up, becoming high and pointy as the muscles engage.
Wave captures how the uterus doesn’t turn on and off like a light switch; it moves like a wave, building in intensity, cresting, and then ebbing away.
Rush reflects the tremendous energy that rushes through the body as the muscle engages and then rests. By shifting your words, you reframe your perspective and reduce fear, helping to make labor easier.
4. Affirmations
Our thoughts are incredibly powerful, and what we tell ourselves can shape our experiences. During labor, repeating positive affirmations like “I am strong,” “I can do this,” and “My body knows how to give birth without pain” can boost confidence and reduce anxiety. You can write these affirmations down and place them around your birthing space or repeat them silently in your mind.
During pregnancy, they are great to listen to while getting ready in the morning, driving to work, or doing chores around the house. The key is consistency and repetition.
Empower your journey with our YouTube video on Birth Affirmations for Pregnant Women—unlock positivity and strength now!
5. Rehearsal
Rehearse having a positive birth experience in your mind before the big day. Here’s why it works: your brain doesn’t distinguish between imagined and real experiences. For instance, if you close your eyes and imagine a cute, snuggling puppy, your brain’s visual and tactile centers light up, and it releases dopamine, a natural feel-good chemical—even though there’s no puppy there!
By imagining your ideal birth setting—seeing a calm, controlled environment and feeling the textures and sounds—you create a mental blueprint that can make labor easier. This makes the actual experience feel less daunting and more manageable.
So, spend a few minutes each day visualizing a positive birth experience. This technique eases fear and trains your mind to expect a positive outcome.
Unlock the potential of a positive birth experience with our 12-minute Birth Meditation on YouTube! Dive into relaxation and empowerment, and if you’re eager for more, join my FREE Love Your Birth Mini-Workshop for additional support and insights.
Rehearsal also has an amazing side benefit: it activates your brain’s reticular activation system, making you more aware of positive birth culture around you. Just like engaging with these videos makes you see more of them, visualizing a positive birth helps you notice and embrace positive experiences in your life.
Bonus Tip: How to Use Psychology to Better Communicate with Medical Staff
In my 20 years of working with birthing mothers, I’ve frequently heard women say they felt pressured into decisions they didn’t want during labor. Balancing the need for medical expertise with respecting personal preferences can be challenging. The key is to approach the situation with a spirit of collaboration, as most healthcare professionals genuinely care and want the best outcomes for you and your baby. By fostering this collaborative approach, you can help make your labor easier and ensure your preferences are respected.
Once you arrive at the hospital, have a conversation with your labor nurse about your preferences, whether it’s laboring in water, listening to music, avoiding an epidural, or having privacy with your partner.
By sharing these preferences and asking for her support in suggesting alternatives to medical interventions, you’re more likely to have her advocate for you effectively. This approach not only helps ensure your preferences are respected but also supports the goal of giving birth without pain. Choosing the right medical team from the start simplifies this process.
Combining these strategies with the power of your mind can greatly enhance your birthing experience, making it more positive and empowering.
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